Silly Things

- Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

- If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

- If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

- Why is a person who plays the piano called pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

- If lawyers are disbarred and clergyman defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, and dry cleaners depressed?

- If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

- Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

- What hair color do they put on the driver's licences of bald men?

- There is no egg in eggplant, ham in hamburger, or apple in pineapple.

- Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square.

- If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

- Why do we have noses that run and feet that smell?

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